[12-14] Are You Worried That Your Husband Is Not Demanding Sex With You?

(NB.this might apply to Asian culture and may be not to other cultures)

When the husband does not ask for sex, the wife becomes worried.

May be
– he has another woman
– he is not satisfied with me
– he has functional problems
– he feels old and impotent
– he feels less of himself

Whatever the wife thinks, the husband usually do not speak out.

Why the worries? The wives tend to think mentioning sex is not decent. They worry that they might appear horny.

But do you know that it is this very thought that husbands do not have sex with their wives. For them sex is labor a hard work and is not pleasing at all.

At the time that he feels troubled about sex and in addition the wife do not speak about this and even she seems to be OK. Well, the husband thinks that they do not need sex at all.

Simply put, the husband does not know about what the wife thinks because she does not tell him.

May be you can write to him if it is difficult to speak out.
In addition, you let him know what you feel and afterwards, you have sex but it is not pleasurable. What will you do then? You see, having sex is not the problem here when you (the wife) do not know how to enjoy sex.

Sex should be enjoyed and it should be expressed.
Does it seem complicated and shameful?

If so, you are not ready yet.
If you really feel that this problem has to be solved, do contact us through e-mail.
It’s all your call.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul. Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[8-10] Affair Problem Is Not The Start Of Marriage Problem.

Generally, we say the affair problem means marriage problem or couple problem.

Efforts are made through information searching or counselling so that the affair problem is solved and the depression or other psychological problems that are accompanied are treated. Especially the thought that the marriage is in trouble makes it harder and scary for the clients to be calm.

It would be hard to swallow but the truth of the fact is that there has already been marriage problem may from a long time ago.

If you think back, something has changed from your spouse, especially regarding sex. In other words, there were symptoms or signs of warning that the marriage is in crisis. The real problem was that it was not noticed and was disregarded.

It is so easy to prove this from thousands of counselling cases.

– Sex seems meaningless and not enjoyable <perhaps the most dramatic change)
– dry and meaningless words rather than warm ones.
– thinking only for oneself rather than the understanding of the other
– family becomes larger than the feeing of love
– no regard for what the other wants

these are some signs to name a few.

These symptoms, left unchanged and prolonged, will lead to affair. Usually Sex problem which is likely develop into serious situation, is not dealt and the couple remains silent about this. Especially those couple who do not know sex well are exposed to bigger danger as they lack the ability to recognize the situation.

Marriage problem is not one-sided. It takes two to tango. Marriage problem is caused by both the husband and the wife therefore it is wise for both of them to feel responsible in solving the marriage problem.

It has to be made clear that however, the affair problem is not a marriage problem.

An affair problem is totally different from simple marriage or couple problem as it involves having sex with adulter/adultress and as it brings a death sentence to marriage. The answer to who is responsible is crystal clear. It is the cheater that is 100% responsible for the affair problem.

I dare say the cheating husband is 100% responsible for his own affair. The husband is roughly 80% directly responsible when his wife cheated or had an affair.

It’s never too late. It is wise to solve any kind of small couple problem and so is the problem of affair. Effort has to be made to set things right rather than feeling rage, trouble or hardships.

When will you stop feeling rage, doubt about your husband / wife? When will you stop fighting and quarrel?

Without finding the problem within yourself, it will be impossible to solve the affair problem. Without understanding the exact cause of the problem, a right solution cannot be found.

Focusing on the affair itself will not solve the problem completely. Doing so will lead to endless fight and dispute, pointing fingers to each other. Both the husband and wife will be knocked down and the final decision will always be divorce as they say they have done everything they can.

An affair problem is not a kind of a marriage problem. An affair problem is aftermath of total package of marriage problem.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul. Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[8-4] Sexless – Already a Couple Problem

Recently I had clients who wanted to have counseling because they were sexless. I want to share some of the contents from this counselling just to show the reader how sexless couple can be a serious problem.

The couple was remarried one.

The wife was in love with this man and got married to him after her divorce. However, the present husband had an affair and the wife in turn had an affair as well. They had to go over whose fault it was and had difficult times. They had come to the session thinking that they wanted no more divorce in their lives.

The husband said that
he was sexless with his ex-wife. He was having an affair with the present wife when he got divorced. She was the adultress. He had no regret in divorcing the ex-wife.

The wife said that
she was sexless with her ex-husband. She was having an affair with the present husband when she got divorced. He was the adulterer. She had no choice but to get divorced after the relation was revealed.

Thus, the adulterer and the adultress, passionately enjoying sex, got married with each other.

However, the problem arouse after a year of their marriage. They became sexless again. Soon enough the husband cheated followed by the wife.

As the reader can see in the example of this case…
Sexless results in extramarital affair, divorce, re-marriage, sexless again and affair again. The vicious cycle continues. This is nothing but so natural, something that can be predicted so easily.

An extramarital affair tend to repeat itself when the problem is not solved completely and properly.

In this clients’ case, they had affairs because they were sexless. However, the reason why they were sexless was not found and solved. This lead to repeated affairs. Furthermore, they had not tried to solve the sexless situation. Instead, they resorted to extramarital affair.

However passionate their sex might have been as affair partners before married, they may as well become sexless couples again. In addition, another extramarital affair was the only solution they knew to solve the problem.

Sexless not only brings serious couple problems but also provides a reason for extramarital affairs. The ultimate problem is that the former couple had not tried to find the cause or the solution to this. They had no idea how dangerous sexless is between a couple.

Are all the couples who do not seem to have problems and look comfortable, okay?

According to a research, almost 90% of the couple are sexless in reality. This is because sex with no enjoyment and out of sense of duty is also regarded as sexless as well. In other words almost 90% of the couples are at the risk of affair and divorce.

What is it like in your case?

Are you enjoying sex with your spouse? Aren’t you doing it out of duty? Aren’t you almost no-sex? Or, aren’t you believing that this would never happen to your couple? You should understand that this might be a big mistake.

Affair and divorce does not happen out of the blue. It has already shown symptoms when couple sex becomes dull. You may say this is not true but the truth of the fact is, it is so easy to find how problem in couple sex has evolved in to affair problem. This is why couple sex is so much important.

If you do not want to regret after things happen and if you feel that your couple sex is troubling you, you need to find the cause and the solution to it. This is the only way to prevent affair, divorce and other couple problems.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com