[6-10]Happiness For Husband and Wife

Both the cheater and the cheated are lonely, no matter how long they have been

married together

After the husband’s affair is revealed, the wife undergoes a tunnel of pain but once

treated with rage, she regains her pride and confidence and starts a new life which

she reforms around herself. She dismisses the jealousy towards the adultress or

bitterness.

The wife stops her interest in her husband whatever he does and the husband does

not find his affair interesting anymore.

An affair is thrilling only when there is a wife!

The husband loses his interest in his extramarital affair as he sees his wife weaving

her own life and making herself beautiful and happy without giving him a look. This is

what I mean when I say “ Don’t look but be looked at”

Ofcourse, the ignorant wife or the husband wants the very same thing but as do not

know how to approach each other, their relation gets estranged and as time goes

by, they would find their relation meaningless which usually results in divorce or

separation.

There were things that has been learned during the period of survival but the

loneliness still remains. Wives shop everyday, meet friends or make boy friends, but

still there is this emptiness. This is also true for the husband.

It is not easy for any woman to do away with what they have accomplished for so

many years.

For husbands, it is their wives that ther the most easy and also the most difficult

person to deal with. Whether they realize it or not, they are addicted to their wives.

However, a lot of women think that their husbands are capable of deserting family

and live happily.

Women think that when men have an extramarital affair, an adultery, they love the

adultress and they share something that cannot be shared with their wives, but

what they do not know is that everytime they have sex with the adultress, they tend

to feel more empty and uneasy.

Some couples seem to be leading happy lives as they possess same hobby but the

truth of the fact is that most of the relations are empty inside. I dare say that the

couple who quarrel everyday is more passionate and they tend to crave something

from each other and their lives are far much more interesting than thoses couples

that seem to be peaceful.

When the couple sex is no problem, the husband will feel free from sex and need

not crave for another women that can be costly and meaningless. The wife also will

feel happy and optimistic about life even though there is no sex.

Sure, most of the couple need to learn about proper sex, not only for others but for

oneself.

Regardless of husband, a woman need to learn about her body and sex and most

importantly, learn why a woman need to live a life so dedicate and sacrificing, and

why she needs a man in her life. Without understanding this, a woman regardless of

marital status, will feel lonely and empty.

Wise are those who through away anything that is judged to be wrong and get

ready for new things to fill them up with. Whether the new thing is harmful or

rewarding, it has to be digested and absorbed.

Your counterpart is man and you are a woman. o do not make judgment of your

counterpart with your rules and feel painful because of it.

We are so much different.

Estimate the passion that he possess and make his passion come towards you

and no towards other woman. This is what we (mand and woman) truly want.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Wong Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul. Republic of

Korea
Contact : happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-9] A Thought After A Sex Scandal

I can see sex scandal almost everyday. The Netizen replies.. blah.. blah.. tit for tat… I believe that it’s time we become more decent in dealing these matters. Time to level up ourselves. Nobody seems to be brave enough to openly discuss on sex or there is no professional expert on this matter.

I believe the general concepts of child abuse related to sex, rape or other sex related crimes have to be changed. Now it is time we think about why such crimes are committed, why they cannot be dismissed from our society.

It is highly likely that those who cannot refrain or control themselves from sex repulse are sex addicts. This is not noticed well. Those men who commit such crimes tend to think they are machos and have strong sex appetites. If there are repeated and frequent arousal for sex, then they are the symptoms of sex addiction. One cannot imagine how various symptoms sex addictions show and that there are so many remedies, as they are accompanied by strong pleasure and lust.

We have come to be familiar with the “sex addiction” thanks to T. However, it is not well known how he was treated and what he thought about the ‘disease’

Indeed, there are so many sex addicts but they do not recognize it themselves. They tend to hide it and find it embarrassing. Only after an incident, they find themselves addicted but refrain from being treated, thinking that they do not want to be taken as a psycho.

Addictions are addictions, just like alcohol or drug addictions. The problem here is that there is no expert or facilities only for sex addiction. There are sex addicts increasing in number everyday but there is no solution whatsoever or anyone who understand this problem. Let’s say that there is an expert but he/she will be regarded somebody perverted.
There is a limit in controlling children’s whereabouts and it is impossible to follow one’s children everyday. Also it is not right to think badly of other children and separate their relation in the name of protection one’s own children.

How great love is!
We are embedded with the ability to detect the love from others. A true care and love an only heal and treat other’s hurt. Those with hurts from childhood would not evolve in to abnormal sex tendency or desire and will grow up and control their desires and temper.

I believe that this is the only way to keep my children and my family safe.

There are problem adults but there are no problem children. We need to define why and when the sex addition started for a person and find out if there anything else beyond the lust. It is time we need to speak up about this.

Sex problems has to be openly discussed and this is the only way to keep our children and family safe. Where there are many happy people, the society will be happy as well.

Sex is important.
It is so for both man and woman and as long as they live together, they need to understand each other and accept the differences. A thirsty person should not be given with bread. A sacrifice mislead is meaningless and only painful.

Where have you learned about sex?
Form internet? playboy magazines? experience from friends or from your boy friend or girl friend?
In most cases women learn sex from men who have learned from appropriate sources. This is why women are dependant upon men.

Men do not know what women want. They only crave for what his thing wants. They have good trust in their ability and strength to endure a certain time.
For some women, this is exactly what they want but for others it is just the opposit. Anyhow, men do not interpret the shouts of pain as pain. They take it as they like.

This is why sex has to be educated properly and specialized. For this, understanding sex is a priority; sex, not only of men but also of women for real people in normal world. (and not of those womanizers or of those professional sex providers)

A proper sex involves the things that psychology of my man wants, what my lady wants. This will in the end prevent sex related crimes or divorce.

With the proper sex knowledge eye, it is easy to see what the problem is from a sex scandal article.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-8] Be The Center Of Your World – For Women

There are things that are not spoken out.

Be the center of your own world!
Such are the words that I have been told and that I have told to my children. Yes, you only live “Once”

Marriage, Love.. they change you, a woman, into a dependant being. Everyone has their own talents. Housekeeping, is not something that is highly praised. This is especially so to the woman with no high social background.

There was a pretty young twenty-two year old piano teacher.
She graduated from a community college. She was a girl next door. She looked pail that day. I had a strange feeling so I asked her what the matter was. She said that she had an abortion and the father was a married man. He is separated. He will be divorced soon and will marry her.

Such a stupid young lady!
She totally believed him. She was having pains on her breasts as the milk started to come out. She was enduring all the physical pains. The married man was a well-known professor of a music college.

She was a naive and pretty lady. That married man was after a young ones. I had to spend a whole day to talk her out of the relation. It was so obvious for me what that man really was.

This young lady didn’t realize how precious she was. She gave herself to a man with background thinking that he overvalues her and that she would be happy with a divorced man as she was of lower profile.

How stupid and silly she was!
Her mother was also backing her idea.

What went wrong?
The ignorant mother was ruining her daughter’s life. This was a stark reality.

Everyone is precious.
No one deserves to be underestimated or looked down upon.
No one should be left hurting oneself!

When you cherish yourself, others will do the same to you.
If you look at men, they will flee away. They will feel burdened and will frown. They will abuse you as time goes by.

Love thyself. Be in love with you.
Isn’t this better than to be in love with anther and feel lonely?
I do not mean divorce here.

How strange human psychology is.
Those who deserted you will look back at you when you turn irrelevant, ignorant and not caring anymore.

Be the center of yourself.
If you have so many stories to tell, you have more chances of saying that your life had been fun at your death bed.

The only person who abuse you and think less of you is your husband.
You have lost your esteem and confidence because you are accustomed to it.

Think back how you were before marriage. Now stand up and today a new life, a wonderful life that you never dreamed of, will begin.

I recall my teacher’s word.
“Praise the good points weather it is right or wrong. That will bring the pride.” At first I didn’t get it but now I completely do so.

No one has to estimate the other. Every one has the ability to find the right and wrong and will follow the right paths.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail :  happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-7] Difference Between Wife And Adultress

When a husband affair is revealed, the wife expresses her rage, feels small and inferior to the adultress.

Especially the thought that her husband had an affair because of her own misdeeds and that she has treated her husband wrong prevails. Furthermore, she would blame herself and feel pain. The wife feels that the adultress is more attractive and comforts her husband better in mental and sexual ways.

The wife should know that she cannot be compared with the adultress. She is more precious to her husband than the adulteress. The adultress is only an object of sex so wife has to stop the wrong thoughts.

There are some, very stupid husbands who are addicted to sex and who cannot think properly. They think that sexual pleasure is all that matters in life and it equals to love. This is why they think the object of pleasure, the adultress, is their love. These are the most stupid man in the world.

However, in most of the husband affair cases, this is not so. Therefor it is important for the wife to know the difference between a wife and an adultress. In addition, the adultress herself should know what a fool she is to think that she is in love.

Now, the differences.

First, let’s look from the view point of the husbands recognition / idea

[Husband’s recognition]

Desc —Legal Protection — Social recognition — Mutual Responsibility
Wife ———- v ————————— v ———————– v
Adultress ——— x ———————— x ———————– x

Desc — Responsibility — Idea of Family — Duty
Wife ————- v —————— v —————— v
Adultress ——–— x —————- x —————— v (sex)

From this it is clear that the wife is protected by the law, is recognised by the society and has the right against the husband. She deserves to be happy as a family and has the responsibility to dedicate and sacrifice for the husband. She has a duty to be happy with the husband.

On the contrary, the adultress cannot be protected by the law, is a target of social blame and cannot claim any responsibility. She is a secret of the man and in turn her duty is to provide sex. The man (husband) has no other responsibility than that as a cost of her sex.

How different a wife and an adulteress is! How can anyone think that an adultress can take the place of a wife?

Adultress is a sex toy for the husband. The wife should know this. The adultress herself should know this. Love does not exist in an affair.

Second is found in the happiness of woman itself

[Happiness of a woaman]
Happiness — wife — adulteress
as a wife —– v —– x
as a mother — v —– x
as a woman — v — v (sexual pleasure)

There are three types of woman happiness. She gets married and dedicates herself to be happy in these three happiness areas. The wife is happy as a wife, mother and a woman.

She feels happy when she receives love and affection (sex and happiness) from the man who is also her husband. Even she is not happy yet, she makes efforts so that her future happiness will be achieved.

The adultress do not have happiness as a wife. It is so natural because the man she think she loves is not married to her. There is no children so there is no happiness as a mother.

Only one remains, sex, a pleasure without affection or happiness. This is why there is only sexual pleasure in an affair.

They tend to think that it is love which is a huge mistake, an illusion. The present effort of the husband in an affair is made in the hope that he can have sex with the adultress again in the future.

So, what is the true love here?

It is so evident that the wife do not have to feel less against the adultress. A wife cannot be compared with the adultress and she is such a precious being that no body can mistreat. Do not forget though you may be suffering from your husband’s affair, the adultress is only an adulatress, a sex toy.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail :  happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-6] Affair Psychology Hypothesis

Conventional Psychology Interpretation says for man, his body moves before his mind where as for woman her
mind moves before her body. Thus, a true love is recognized when both the body and the minds of the man and the woman are involved. However, this principle does not fit when analysing an affair psychology and it even goes as far as distorting the basis of all the psychology.

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 1
When a man turns towards woman, his body (sexual instinct) moves before his formation of idea. When a woman turns towards a man, her mind moves before her body (sex). In other words, a man does not possess mind but an idea. A woman does not possess an idea but a mind. Therefore a man forms an idea to suit the woman and loves her together with his whole being and woman loves when her mind and body is moved together.
— refer to 6-2 Man does not possess a mind —

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 2

dec ——dating / before marriage——— after marriage
Man ——passion (sexual instinct)———-love by idea
Woman——-love from mind ————–passion (motherly love instinct)

During dating period, a man will feel passionate which is based upon sexual instinct. A woman feels love from her mind. After the marriage these changes. A man loves a woman with his whole being based upon his idea. A woman will be passionate out of motherly love.
— refer to 6-3 Different instinct – mand and woman —

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 3
Because a man does not have a mind, he is not hurt (near 100%). Idea on the other hand is sensitive to stress and does not evolve into depression. When a man is stressed he is obsessed to get away from it because he does not have a buffer to ease it from his mind (as he does not have one). His instinct has to find a way to feel comfortable. As for woman she does not feel stressed as she has no idea but she gets hurt of mind. Therefore she gets depressed. This hurt is piled up and when it is too much, depression occurs and the instinct hurts herself.
— refer to 6-4 Stress and depression —

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 4
When a man is stressed, he would normally activates his instinct to get away from the stress immediately and feel comfortable. He would seek whatever means he has. In addition, when deprived of his pleasure and joy, he feels stressed and will activate his instinct to recover that pleasure and joy. Thus a man will do whatever he can to get away from stress and maintain his pleasure.
— refer to “the reality of man stress” of future blog post —

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 5
When a woman is hurt from man, she has hurt in her mind which by her instinct will require consolation. When consoled of her hurt, she will feel comfortable thinking it is love. When hurt of mind is consoled, she would recognize that love equals sex.
— refer to “6-5 Consolation leads to woman sex” of this blog post —

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 6
A woman gets married because she loves the man with her mind and has sex with him. A man has sex with a woman out of sexual instinct and the sexual pleasure is mistaken as love and he gets married to the woman. In other words, a woman marries out of love but a man marries because he gets loves mistaken.
— refer to “You are married because you are mistaken” of future blog post —

Affair Psychology Hypothesis 7
When an affair happens, the wife rages because she feels that her husband’s mind and love is taken away to the adultress, rather than the act of having sex with another woman. In fact, a man has an affair because he enjoys sex with the adultress and it has nothing to do with mind (as he does not possess one). On the other hand, a husband rages because of the fact that his wife had sex with the adulterer rather than the fact that her mind feels love with that man. In reality, she is consoled for her hurt and sex is only an expression of her mistaken love.
In this sense, man and woman has different point of view and rage and hurt deepens as the misinterpretation and misunderstanding occur.
— refer to “Truth and myth of husband and woman affair” of future blog post —

The above mentioned 7 hypothesis are the bases upon which the affair principle has been developed. From this principle, prevention of affair, and solution to affair problem and related methods are developed.
Also, as the affair problems are solved, the above mentioned 7 hypothesis proved to be true out of two thousand and five hundred cases over 80% couples were successful in fully restoring couple happiness. Over 90% of the rage treatment turned successful.

Upon these 7 hypothesis, detailed affair psychology will be described and systematic method and ways are to be introduced (in this blog).

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-5] Consolation Leads To Woman Sex

A man consoles a woman (of her hurt) and the woman (with hurt) mistakes this consolations with love and feels passionate about having sex with the man (who consoles her).
Simply put, she has sex with the man by mistaking the consolation she receives as love. At this moment the sex instinct of man activates. This is how a love relation begins.

The problem here is that a wife, a woman, after many years of marriage has piled up hurts in her mind and even went further as to be raged and hurt because of her husband’s affair.

She is filled with deep and big hurts. At this moment if a man (other than her husband) gives her consolation and touches her hurt, she feels as if that man loves her and rationalizes

the consolation as love.
This is why in most of the wife affair cases, it is easy to see that there has been a lot of hurts piled up in the wife side and these hurts had been touched by the adulterer. She had

sex with the adulterer because she has mistaken consolation with love.

A woman hurt by man longs for sex by mistaken idea of love, which in fact is a consolation from another man.

[If you are a husband and is now having an affair, bear this in mind. Your wife is deeply hurt and because of this, she might feel in mistaken love with an adulterer and become an

object of sex (of another man).
If you are a wife and is now having an affair, bear this in mind. You are having sex with the adulterer because you mistake his consolation as love.]

This is a vicious cycle and counter-cheating is so prevalent. It is like a domino. This is why affair, divorce and related crimes such as hatred (love) murder are increasing.

For a woman, sex, love and mind is closely linked. This is why man do not go for sex immediately. He knows by instinct that he has to get her mind (heart) to have sex. For a

woman to have a natural sex, feeling of love is a prior thing before anything.

However, this situation becomes different when the woman has hurt especially from man. Hurt from love is deeper, sadder and more painful than others. Deeper the hurt, more

tendency of longing for consolation. This is embedded in her instinct.

Of course, if the hurt is not too deep and it is small, it can be overcome and healed with her willingness and reason. If it is the first time, and there has been no experience of

consolation before, she would resort to hiding the hurt than to be consoled.

A woman might not notice herself but if she is having sex repeatedly and says that she is “Cool” with it, she is piling up hurt without her knowing. More hurts, more consolation is

required. She has to repeat love, meaningless sex. She would even go as far as being obsessed with sex just to feel love (consolation).

Affair Psychology Hypothesis
A woman gets hurt from a man and by her instinct, she wants to get consoled. When consoled by a man, she feels comfortable as if in love. After her mind is consoled, she thinks

that love is sex.

A woman is hurt from betrayal, husband’s affair, repeated break up’s, words and actions from male partner, being looked down and others. In this sense woman gets hurt regardless

of marriage status.

However, man do not think of this as grave matter and tend to think they have not hurt woman. Woman in turn do not realize this even though massive hurt is already formed. This is

why a woman do not recognize that she is hurt in daily lives.

The problem here is that the hurt from man is piled up and gets deeper and eventually these hurts will distort her mind.

Deep hurt brings longing for comfort, a consolation. When comforted, she feels relaxed and feeling deepens into a feeling of love. The comfort and dependency from and to

consolation is mistaken as love. She wants more sex because she wants to confirm her mistaken love. As this goes on, her mistaken feelings of love gets stronger and so does her

bodily pleasure and sex.

Normally, sex for woman comes from love of her mind and she wants more sex to solidate her love. For her, bodily pleasure or orgasm is not important. She wants fulfillment of

mind, a feeling of love. This is a love that harmonizes her body and mind. This is the true love of a woman.

Unfortunately, for woman with deep hurts mistakes comfort, dependency and consolation as love and seek for bodily pleasure and orgasm. This is not a harmonized love of body

and mind. It only has sexual pleasure and consolation for the hurt mind.

If your are a woman and have hurt from a man (husband), you are having sex to be consoled. If you are having affair now, do read this post carefully.

If you are man, you need to look in to your woman (wife) and see her hurt. If you are having an affair, do remember that she might turn an adulteress of another man because of hurt

(from husband affair).

“You cannot have it all. One is gained and one is lost“

What is more valuable to you? Making a wise choice will lead you to a happier life.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-4] Stress and Depression

In understanding Affair Psychology, it is important to differentiate and analyse the stress and depression. Stress and depression has to be treated otherwise it will affect the total life and will eventually lead to unhappy life.

In an affair problem, stress and depression becomes a serious issue. This is because the stress and depression in affair can lead and cause rage, hurt and divorce and sometimes lead into murder.

Man do not possess mind therefore has almost no hurt (of the mind) but is very sensitive to stress and do not get depressed. When the idea of a man is stressed it has a strong obsession to get out of stress as he does not have a buffer to ease it. Woman on the other hand do not get stressed much but can be hurt (in mind) which not expressed and oppressed within herself, might lead to depression and has an instinct to hurt herself.

In conclusion, the husband has tendency to be stressed and the wife, depressed.

Man does not get hurt. When he expresses himself as hurt, this should be interpreted as stress. Stress – a man’s hurt – can be harder to endure because he has no mind. A man would express different words and actions according to the level of stress and the personality.

Also, each man shows different ability in solving the stress according to his endurance and idea. When the stress is too much, he would change his idea or go extreme as to get away from the stress. This is the instinct that no reason or intention can control. In a severe stress, instinct activates automatically.

When the man is in stress and in a position where he is not being able to control the situation with his reasons and intentions, such symptoms as abnormal character, action or words can be shown. This should be understood that the man is under a strong stress and his instinct is acting so as to get away from the stress.

His trial to get away from stress is immediate and instant. The man does not endure stress well and his instinct tells him to find a quick way, may be through diminishing the stress by his reasoning, changing ideas, modifying personality, or acting and speaking abnormally. This is because his instinct tells him to find a way to feel comfortable.

At this point, sexual instinct – the man’s basic instinct – activates as a result of lacking reasoning and strong stress. This is the point where the husband’s affair occurs.

Therefore, man in a stressful working conditions or those with weak stress resistance tend to repeat extramarital affair. In other words, the instinct to get comfortable from stress turns into sexual instinct and the man will fall into pleasure and lust.

In the case of woman, she gets hurt when stressed. When the stressed is controlled by her willingness and reasoning, it will not remain as hurt. However, when this is not controlled, it will turn into hurt of mind as a solution to cope with stress. This is because her instinct do not need an immediate comfort thanks to the buffer of her mind.

Stress not controlled with the woman’s reasoning evokes sacrifice and dedication and she would try to understand and receive the stress. This remains as hurt of mind. The woman would try to endure and overcome the hurt over a long period of time. Unlike man, woman tries to solve the stress through considerable amount of time. Such stress in the mind that had taken a long time to be solved becomes her hurt of mind.

These hurt of mind piles up in a woman. In this sense, a woman is resistant to stress because she has many hurts (of mind) piled up within her.

When these hurts are too much piled up, she can no longer control her situation and her willingness and reasoning can no longer contain them. This is when the woman falls into depression. Therefore, a woman’s depression is from her piled hurts, and the rage is the moment when all these hurts are exploded and uncontrolled. Hurt from the husband’s affair itself is not a big problem but the rage that has exploded accompanies untolerable pain and troubles. Especially, the depression from rage is severe as the rage gets larger.

Once the woman feels depressed, she can no longer pile up her hurt and the depression becomes even deeper. From that moment on, each little stress will become hurt which she cannot deal any more and makes the depression more serious. This is the reality of the woman depression.

In conclusion, to treat a depression of woman, the utmost important point is to treat the hurt of mind. She has to be treated so as to control the hurt with her reasons and willingness.

It should be noted that the man and woman has different “hurt of mind”.

A man’s instinct tend to eliminate the stress immediately, on the other hand, woman treats her stress in her mind and turn it into her hurt.s These are all because the instinct wants to be comfortable.

This is why man do not understand woman’s hurt and woman, man’s stress. This is because they are totally different in dealing the stress themselves.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail :  happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-3] Different Instinct – Man & Woman

It is difficult for a man and a woman to understand each other and this causes a lot of troubles. Difference in Instinct especially regarding sex brings multiples of troubles after marriage.

Instinct or innate behavior is the inherent inclination of a living organism toward a particular complex behavior. Instinct is generally understood as the innate part of behavior that emerges without any training or education in humans. There are mainly the instinct of preservation of the species and the instinct of preservation of individual.

Likewise, instinct has nothing to do with consciousness or thinking and it is totally different in man and woman. Without knowing the fact that man and woman have different instinct, practically care and understanding is impossible.

The hypothesis of Affair Psychology
———————————————————————–
Desc. During Dating Period After Marriage
————————————————————————
Man Passion (sexual instinct) Unconscious love from idea
Woman Love from Mind Passion (Motherly Love)
————————————————————————
During the dating period, man shows passion from his sexual instinct whereas woman shows love from her mind. However, this changes after marriage. A man with a newly formed idea, loves with his whole being and woman with her motherly love (sacrifice and dedication)

As shown after marriage, instinct of man and woman show changes as they raise their children together. Man gets away from his passion from sexual instinct. He will form a new idea based upon his wife and loves with his whole being. Woman on the other hand gets away from love of her mind and will possess a passion based upon motherly love(a sacrifice and dedication).

Man, during dating period has passion from sexual instinct wich will make him dedicated to woman, display care and understanding so that her mind is moved towards him. Together with this, he will try for patting, caressing and sex. Through these efforts, a woman will move her mind because of satisfaction, expectation, dedication and passion and will be in love with her mind and mutual sexual pleasure and happiness will come.

Likewise, man would try every effort to gain woman’s mind hoping for her sex. Woman on the other hand feels love with her mind and in an effort of her love her sex is moved. Therefore, sex is an immersed act purely on passion and love among dating couples.

Man wants to move the mind of the woman so that he can get her love. He wishes to meet her often, got out to eat, see movies, travel together and spend time with her. During these activities sexual pleasure starting from hand holding to caressing, kissing and sex will come. Woman on the other hand, confirms that the man loves her by seeing his dedication, care and understanding and would eventually follow his sexual instinct and love his passion and mutual sexual pleasure is formed.

Now if you look into the process of dating, it all starts with a cup of coffee into dinners, movies accompanied by caressing and kissing. All this will revolve in to meetings and having sex. Whatever the form of their meeting ; travel, movies, dinners, etc, these all ends with sex.

Once the sexual pleasure is formed, the dating pattern changes. Sex is a must course during the dating period. This is because the man’s sexual instinct based on passion and woman’s feeling of love is formed naturally. Woman feels happy as she feels her love fulfilled through sex.

In short, man mistakes his sexual instinct from his passion as love. Woman also mistakes man’s mistaken love as her love and the mutual love grows together with sexual pleasure.

As man and woman feels that they are deeply in love (which is mistaken) they would want to get married with each other. During the honeymoon period, the union of man’s passion and woman’s love does not change and stays the same.

However, as time goes by, and as children arrive, man forms an idea with his wife and children at the center of his love and woman would form “sacrifice and dedication (a motherly love instinct)” which is an immersed passion. Man and woman have now changes in their instinct.

With the marriage, man will rearrange his idea centered around his wife and his children ; the idea of responsibility, success in business and work, family, and others. Woman would put her passion, dedication and sacrifice for her husband and children. She would not put others before her husband and children.

What is important at this point is that woman after marriage loses her life as a woman. She only lives the lives of a wife and of a mother. Before marriage, she lived a life as a woman but it is lost as she lives the lives of the wife and a mother.

The problem with this is that the husband or the man loses his sexual instinct as he forms his idea. Sex at this point is not from his true sexual instinct but is from his responsibility of idea. Therefore his passion is lost. This is the changes in the man’s sexual instinct.

Contrary, a woman with her passion of motherly love (dedication and sacrifice) feels her happiness and regards sex as to validate her sense of happiness. She needs sex not to confirm her passion but to feel happier through sex with her husband which will in fact turn her more passionate. Now the woman’s instinct is changed from her love to passion – motherly love.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-2]A Man Does Not Possess a Mind.

I dare say “Men do not have mind like women do”. I hope the readers do not criticize me for this. I say this from analysing psychological status of considerable number of men and women.

Other counselors, professors and others in the academic field do not agree to this statement with a big surprise. This is because there are no thesis or published book that mention this and it is true that this statement itself is very unfamiliar and evokes rejection.

When I was designing and building the Principles of Affair, this is the hypothesis which was the most difficult, something that required a lot of proofs. I myself was not convinced at first and once even put this hypothesis from the subject of research and analysis. By eliminating this hypothesis, I had years of hard time completing the “Principle of Affair”. By adapting this hypothesis that “Men Do Not Have Mind Like Women Do”, I found the problems of affair was solved immediately. Then I understood that this hypothesis was indeed very important.

Hypothesis in Affair Psychology.
When attracted to a woman, a man’s body (sexual instinct) moves first followed by his idea. When attracted to a men, a woman’s mind moves first followed by her body (sexual instinct). This indicates that a man possesses an idea and not mind and a woman mind and not idea. Therefore, a man is in love with his whole being when his idea is formed to suit his female partner. A woman is in love when mind and body is accompanied together.

A man’s sexual instinct activates the moment he sees a woman. Therefore, a man can notify everything that he wants to find in a woman in an instant. One second is enough for him to recognize the attractiveness. This is the activated “Sexual Instinct” This is found in every man. It is needless to mention male hormones or other pathological researches. A man is inborn with this ability. This is a man’s basic instinct.

Once attracted to a woman, his sexual instinct is developed and he would make effort to attract her. This is the dating period. The first step would be having little chats, praises, care and consolation. Then comes coffee, dinner, drinks, movies and drives. These are the method that man uses so as to fulfill his future sexual instinct. Thus comes the passion out of sexual instinct. The word “ I love you” is mistaken feeling that has been aroused from man’s sexual instinct.

When a man says “ I Love You” it means that he is immerged in his passion from sexual instinct.

When a man is immerged in passion (fulfillment of sexual instinct) he feels happiness and joy. This will make him to adjust his life standard (ideas) to the woman. This idea is not found in a woman.

A man’s idea
Ideas of : Rational reasoning, life value, responsibility, power, social success, happiness, business, profession, love, compassion, woman, family, offsprings and other idea.

The moment a man forms an idea is when the responsibility comes from marriage. Therefore, a man’s idea whose starting point was passion from sexual instinct brings idea with the event of marriage. A love for a woman of a man means a man’s being itself.

In conclusion there is no mind for man. Man do not possess mind.

Man has no mind. This means having sex according to his sexual instinct is differentiated from idea. Therefor sex is possible without love. Upon sexual instinct, it is possible for a man to have sex with multiple partners. This indicates that for a man to be happy with a man depends on how this sexual instinct is controlled and managed. This is why a woman has to know a man’s psychology.

It is not always that a man’s sexual instinct is activated. Of course, a man’s sexual instinct might occur the moment he sees an attractive woman from her appearance, body figure and ambiance). However, this does not always involve sex as they are controlled by one’s reasoning.

On the contrary, a damaged male idea or an aggressive stress will activate sexual instinct uncontrollably to its extent. This is the point where a husband’s extramarital sexual intercourse comes.

Also once the uncontrolled sexual instinct was fulfilled, this situation will repeat it self. This is why a husband’s affair becomes as close as a sex addict. For all this to be solved, it is important that the man’s damaged idea has to be treated and that he should become strong enough to find his reasoning to resist stress.

In addition, a man do not have hurt of the mind. He has hurt of the idea. This is very different from each other. Other than a big shock, incident or embedded habit, it is not easy for a man to have a hurt idea. Therefore, if the man has a damaged hurt idea, which is a very rare case, this past incident or habit has to be found and has to be treated.

Man do not have mind but he has feelings. The problem is that this feelings are mistaken as mind. Woman has a mind with feelings but man has idea with feelings. That is why man and woman have different feelings for a same incident or phenomenon.

All this indicates that it is wrong to involve mind therapy for a man who does not have a mind at all. Woman needs mind therapy whereas man need idea therapy. This is why mind therapy shows its effect on woman and very rarely on man. This is why most of affair problem (sex problem) is not solved properly.

In other words, till now, man’s feelings were mistaken as his mind which brings failed counselling. Therefore, in a couple related counselling (affair and sex) the core of the counselling is in the woman’s mind and man’s idea.

Man do not possess a mind. He mistakes his feelings as mind. Therefore, a man mistakes his passion from his sexual instinct as his love.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com

[6-1] Extramarital Affair – A Marriage Cancer

An affair revealed is a marriage cancer and when not treated properly, it will lead to a
marriage death (divorce). Therefore, if you wish to live happy as a couple, an immediate
effort has to be made solve this problem.

When the incident of extramarital affair is revealed, the trust between the couple disappears
and the couple relationship turns to the worst stage and rage occurs. As such, an affair is
destructive and is a marriage cancer. However, generally an affair is dealt rather lightly
where in fact, it should be seriously treated as a deadly cancer.

Cancer of one’s body is deadly. If it is severe, one would set back all the works and would
put every effort to get cured. One would not resist the disease saying that it will be cured
as time goes by. When the cancer is not treated properly and right away after it is found,
it will be transferred to other organs and will eventually lead to one’s death.

A well treated cancer would stop the transfer, reduce it and eventually will completely cure
it. However, when not properly treated, it might become worse and it will be too late for
a proper treatment to be applied and eventually one will die. In some cases the development
of cancer is such that it is already too late for any kind of treatment.

Patient’s will is what matters the most in treating a cancer. Patient should have the will to
be cured. With willingness, a patient will search for a best hospital, consult the right
treatment and save no time, money and effort.

Now what about the Marriage Cancer – affair problem?

In an couple relation, when the affair is revealed, it is a death sentence. Sadly, not many
people recognize this. Couple relation is dying because there is no willingness to get cured
and there is no effort to solve the problem. This is why a marriage dies (divorce) because
affair problem is transferred to other couple relation problems.
Am affair problem needs to be solved otherwise, it will cause severe couple problem and
in the end a divorce (couple death) will come.

A divorced couple has a lot to say. They all have different stories. However, when you look
deep in to their stories, it is easy to find that they have left the affair problem not treated.
I have analysed from my counselling the divorced, 90% of them had initially an affair
problem not properly treated. To the outside world, the reason of a divorce varies but
in most of the cases, an affair problem was the starting point.

A firm will to get cured is required and a proper treatment that suits each situation
is needed. Rage and hurt is treated and couple and affair solution is designed. If not properly
designed, a treatment or a solution will worsen the couple relation and will lead to divorce.
With this willingness and once the treatment and solution is designed, time, cost and effort
have to be invested.

As each cancer cases has different causes and development course, so is the affair cases.
This is why a detailed analysis and diagnosis is compulsory. As there are stages in a body
cancer, so is the affair problem.

An affair problem should be dealt with just like the body cancer.
A hospital has numerous services ranging from dental service to surgery. However, for
cancer, a cancer center is set up. A marriage cancer cannot be treated in an office where
every psychological problem is dealt with. A marriage cancer needs a specialized center.
This is because marriage cancer is totally different from other general counselling method,
in terms of treatment and so forth.

A body cancer cannot be treated in plastic surgery center. So is the affair problem. This is
where an affair counselling specialist comes in. It is very difficult, almost impossible
for a non-specialized psychological counselor to solve the affair problem. To note, there are
NO affair counselling specialist in Korea which indicates that these cases are hard to be
dealt with not to mention to be solved.

Happy Research Co., Ltd.
Dong Won Benest 908, 522-1 Han Nam Dong, Yong San Gu, Seoul, Republic of Korea
e-mail : happy4couple@gmail.com